Find YOUR Balance
I am starting to think that the Work/Life balance everyone speaks of is an urban myth.
Honestly, I thought I was doing a pretty good job. For the most part my day revolves around the girls (which I love). During the day I take 10-20 minutes pockets of time to work at my computer and then do the bigger stuff once they go to sleep.
It worked for awhile…until it didn’t. Today, was my breaking point! I wanted to quit everything. I even went as far as giving my coach a heads up that I might be quitting.
Right now my life is pretty crazy. All four of us travel to Charlotte every other week so I can work 3-4 days. We are in the process of getting our house ready to sell. Chis AND Evelyn will be starting school in the fall.
There is a whole lot going on with me both mentally and physically. So, those late nights I used to pull are not happening. I often fall asleep at 7:30 with the girls and sleep a full 12 hours (Broken hours due to Annabelle waking so often). Days I am able to stay up the last thing I want to do is hop on social media and chit chat! I want to hang out and watch T.V. with the mister.
Basically I am 100% mombie right now, there is zero balance.
A lot happened today…in my head.
I started the day depleted and pretty much on the verge of tears. Trying to figure out how on earth I was so BAD at balancing everything. I just kept thinking of the quote from the book Grace, Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy “Here’s the thing about doing it all: even if you can do it all, no one can do it all WELL.”
I really did want to quit everything and go back to the days that I spent with Evelyn playing outside. Those days I didn’t have any other commitments, even Chris was barely home. Today, I wanted that simplicity so badly.
So, I took the girls outside and just let them do their thing. Evelyn went straight to our messed up flower bed and started making me “special” coffee, complete with foam and flavors. I also got my choice of soup, ice cream, and bananas. The little girl who has been begging for television just melted away. My heart smiled.
At first kept Annabelle gated into the back porch because I was afraid she would eat the dirt. That didn’t last long, and yes she tried to eat it.
The 3 hours we spent outside changed not only my day but my thinking.
Find YOUR Balance
I went outside broken and ready to quit and by the time I brought the girls in for a bath I was energized and ready to tackle life!
So, what happened?
I realized the reason why we can never master the work/life balance is not because we are just terrible at balance…The true reason is because we need to adjust how we balance for each major and minor season of life.
Remember when I mentioned that I wanted to go back to the days when Evelyn and I would play outside all day? The truth is I was so lost and lonely that I poured 100% of myself into being a mom AND I was a great one with a spotless house. I wasn’t a very good wife, or friend. I had zero sense of self and my relationship with God wasn’t that great either. There was no balance, there was a time I was very happy but after awhile I realized I lost myself and it took me years to rediscover who I was besides being mom.
Everyone you know PLUS a hundred people on the internet will tell you how to find the perfect balance no matter if you stay home or work away from home, they all have an opinion. Do yourself a favor and learn from my mistake. Stop looking at other people in the same major season of life and expect to be able to find balance their way. Our lives are more complex then that.
All you can do is PRAY for balance and do the best you can. When something isn’t working or you start to feel drained. Take a day and do the thing that you love the most. For me it was photographing the girls playing in the mud. You will come out the other side recharged and knowing where you need to change things up.
DO NOT QUIT
Don’t be like me and try to run away and talk badly about yourself. There is no manual for life and YES some appear to make it look easy but don’t ever let yourself think that you are just bad at it. You will start to believe what you tell yourself and eventually your actions will reflect that.
I wish I could tell you life will always be easy and finding balance can be found if you work for it. The truth is that sometimes life gets really hard and you will be pushed past your limits. Take comfort in the knowledge that each season (both large and small) comes to an end.
You got this!